Honolulu, May 26, 1976
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bhunjanah prapiban khadan
balakam sneha-yantritah
bhojayan payayan mudho
na vedagatam antakam
[SB 6.1.26]
So this is the general way of life. Everyone is engaged in these material activities, and the basic principle of material activity is grhastha, family life. Family life, according to Vedic system, or anywhere, is responsible life to maintain the wife, children. Everyone is engaged. They think this is the only duty. "To maintain the family, that is my duty. As comfortably as possible. That is my duty." One does not think that this kind of duty is performed even by animals. They have got also children, and they feed. What is the difference? Therefore here the word used is mudha. Mudha means ass. One who is engaged in such duties, bhunjanah prapiban khadan. Prapiban. Prapiban means drinking, and bhunjanah means eating. While eating, while drinking, khadan, while chewing, carva casya raja preya (?). There are four kinds of eatables. Sometimes we chew, sometimes we lick up, (Sanskrit) sometimes we swallow, and sometimes we drink. So there are four kinds of foodstuff. Therefore we sing catuh vidha sri-bhagavat-prasadat. Catuh vidha means four kinds. So we offer to the Deities so many foodstuffs within these four categories. Something is chewed, something is licked up, something is swallowed. In that way.
So bhunjanah prapiban khadan balakam sneha-yantritah. The father and mother takes care of the children, how to give them foodstuffs. We have seen mother Yasoda is feeding Krsna. Same thing. This is the difference. We are feeding ordinary child, which is done by cats and dogs also, but mother Yasoda is feeding Krsna. The same process. The process there is no difference, but one is the Krsna center and other is whimsical center. That is the difference. When it is Krsna-centered, then it is spiritual, and when it is whimsical centered, then it is material. There is no difference between material... This is the difference. There is... Just like lusty desires and love, pure love. What is the difference between lusty desires and pure love? Here we are mixing, man and woman, mixing with lusty desires, and Krsna is also mixing with the gopis. Superficially they look the same thing. Yet what is the difference? So this difference has been explained by the author of Caitanya-caritamrta, that what is the difference between lusty desires and love? That has been explained. He has said, atmendriya-priti-vancha-tare bali 'kama' [Cc. Adi 4.165], "When I want to satisfy my senses, that is kama." But krsnendriya-priti-iccha dhare 'prema' nama, "And when we want to satisfy the senses of Krsna, then it is love, prema." That is the difference. Here in this material world there is no love because the man and woman, they have no idea that "I mix with the man, the man who satisfies desires with me." No. "I will satisfy my desires." This is the basic principle. The man is thinking that "Mixing with this woman, I'll satisfy my sense desire," and woman is thinking that "By mixing with this man, I shall satisfy my desire." Therefore it is very prominent in the Western countries, as soon as there is difficulty in personal sense gratification, immediately divorce. This is the psychological, why so many divorces in this country. The root cause is that "As soon as I don't find satisfaction, then I don't want." That is stated in the Srimad-Bhagavatam: dam-patyam ratim eva hi. In this age, husband and wife means sex satisfaction, personal. There is no question of that "We shall live together; we shall satisfy Krsna by being trained up how to satisfy Krsna." That is Krsna consciousness movement. Don't do anything for your personal sense gratification. Do everything for Krsna's sense gratification.
Just like the gopis, they used to go to Krsna. These gopis, they were married, because in India twelve years, thirteen years girls are married still. I've told many incidences. So from childhood they are friends, small children, but the girls are married early, so they go to their husband's place, thirteen, fourteen years. But because they had, they prayed to Katyayani when they're not married, they prayed to Katyayani that "Krsna is so beautiful. Please give me Krsna as my husband." Krsna is all-attractive, so Krsna fulfilled their desire, and that is vastranam. Of course, these things are not to be publicly discussed, but still you are little interested in Krsna. So all the gopis, girls, before their marriage, they prayed to Katyayani that "You give me Krsna as my husband." So Krsna..., it is not possible socially, but Krsna makes such a plan that He accepted every one of them as His wife. That is vastrana-lila. Vastrana-lila, the girls were taking bath in the Yamuna, keeping their clothing, garments, on the shore. Still in India, especially in Punjab, the practice is that where the women take bath, strictly no man can go there because they put their clothings on the shore and they dip into the water naked. So this was being done, and Krsna took their clothings and got up on the tree. So they begged Krsna, their friend, "Krsna, this is very bad. Why You have taken away our..." "No, you beg the clothes with folded hands, then I shall give you." (laughter) So you have read this story, you do not require, but the idea is that "You wanted Me, all of you, as your husband. Now I'm fulfilling your desire. I'm seeing you naked." Because a woman can be naked only before the husband. No one else. This is chastity. A woman cannot be naked anywhere, just like in the club, naked dance. This is most abominable. Woman can be naked only before the husband. [break]
...brahmana. That will be explained. He was brahmana. He was well trained as a brahmana, but one day while he was coming home with the ingredients of worshiping the Deity, he saw one sudra embracing another sudra girl, embracing, kissing, because they have no shame. No brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya will do that. It is not etiquette. But because a sudra, now it is everywhere we can see, embracing, kissing, open to everyone. So young man, seeing this, how he can restrain, check his lusty desire? It is not possible. Kali-yuga is so fallen. If a young man sees another young man he's enjoying with another young girl, then naturally his lusty desires increases. So these things are forbidden therefore. Still in some places it is forbidden that you cannot... India this is strictly forbidden. There is no such thing in the public street a young man can embrace or kiss. No. That is not possible. Then it will be criminal. Neither a young boy can dare to speak with another young girl on the street. Still it is criminal. She'll begin immediately protest that is incivility.
So the whole civilization is how to restrict this sex desire. Because... Why restriction? Because the sex desire, sex life, will keep him within this material world in different bodies, either as human being or as animal or as bird or as insect -- so long there will be this sex desire. To become free, to become liberated means to become liberated from sex desire. That's all. This is the basic principle. Not that this tantra-yoga, how to increase sex desires. This is not civilization. Civilization is how to cut down sex desire and ultimately become free, paramahamsa. That is civilization according to Vedic culture. Therefore the training from the very beginning, brahmacari. Brahmacari is instructed in such a way that he'll remain brahmacari throughout the whole life. A brahmacari is open to accept either a grhastha asrama or vanaprastha asrama or sannyasa asrama, but the guru advises, "Better remain all through brahmacari. No botheration." So he's trained properly, but still if he has desire, then he's allowed to become a grhastha. That is also for a limited time. The whole plan is how to stop, because as soon as here, that Ajamila, he was not properly married, he became the husband of a prostitute. But there are ten children, but he's entangled with the family, with children, and now he's engaged bhunjanah prapiban khadan balakam sneha-yantritah, one after another. First of all sex desire, pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam etam [SB 5.5.8].
This world, what is this world, material world? The material means sex desire. That's all. The woman is hunting after man, and the man is hunting after woman. Either in human society or bird society or beast society or dog society or cat society, the principle is sex. And the human society means to understand this, that what is the basic principle of material life. If we understand it is sex, therefore we have to cut down the sex desire gradually by becoming brahmacari, grhastha, vanaprastha, sannyasa. This is the process. Otherwise, if I do not know what is the cause of my material bondage, then how we can take remedy? This is the cause, pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam etam. The desire is there. As soon as one is grown up, reaching youthful time, the sex desire is very strong, very strong. So they unite, a man..., a boy finds out a girl, a girl finds out a boy. They unite, and there is sex, and as soon as there is sex then there is bondage. Immediately. Pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam etam tayor mitha. As soon as they unite, then the relation becomes very tight, very strong. Then, as soon as one is married, or unmarried -- generally speaking married -- then he wants apartment. Ato grha. Grha means apartment. So long he remains brahmacari there is no need of apartment. He can dine right out on the street. (laughter) But as soon as they're joined together, immediately apartment, grha. Then how to maintain the apartment? Then he must have land. Because formerly there was no industry. Everyone must produce his own food by tilling the field. So to produce food he must have some land. So land was available, still available. One can produce. But they have left that process of livelihood. They are taking to industry.
So ato grha. First of all apartment, then ksetra. Ksetra means agricultural land. Then some capital. Ato grha-ksetra. Then as soon as they're married they, at least woman, wants some child, children. Ato grha-ksetra-suta-apta. After, if he has got very nice apartment and good condition of living, then he'll invite some friends, "Please come and see our happily living." (laughter) And one after another -- bondage. One after another. Because if you're opulent, you have to show your friends. Otherwise what is your opulence? If your friends do not come and say, "Oh, you're so wonderful. (laughter) Yes. You have got such a nice wife, nice apartment. Wonderful!" Because in the Kali-yuga this is wonderful. Everything is mentioned in sastra. Daksyam kutumba-bharanam. If one can maintain one wife and some children, ah, he's most expert. (laughs) Forget Krsna. Here is expert. (laughter) Daksa means expert. "Oh, he's expert. How he's maintaining." When I first came, I met one elderly lady. She had a son. So, as Indian I asked, "Oh, why don't you get your son married?" She replied, "Oh, I have no objection. If he can maintain a wife I have no objection." That means to maintain a wife is a very big job in your country. I've seen it. (laughter) Of course, when we talk we must talk freely. (laughter) That is a fact. (laughter) But formerly, in our father's age, they used to come to foreign countries and they thought it, it is a great laugh to possess one white wife. Yes, they are thinking like that. So all the students who used to come to England for higher studies, naturally he'd carry one white elephant. (laughter) They used to say -- it is not my coined words -- they used to say, "Oh, to maintain European wife, it is like maintaining white elephant." So anyway, you have got so many white elephants. (laughter)
So this is the way, ato grha-ksetra-suta-apta, friends. Arjuna was lamenting, "My dear Krsna, You are asking me to fight with my relatives. Then suppose I become victorious and they're killed. Then whom I shall show the kingdom?" That was his objection. (laughter) "If everyone is killed on the other side, my friends and relatives, and suppose I become victorious, then whom I shall show my prosperity?" So apta, suta, ato grha-ksetra-suta-apta and vitta and money. It is one after another. First wife, then apartment, then field for agriculture, then friends, then children, then money, bank balance. In this way he does not know he's becoming entangled more and more. Ato grha-ksetra-suta-apta-vittaih, janasya moho 'yam. He's thinking that "Now everything is settled up; I am very happy." And next day death comes and kicks him out: "Get out!" That he does not understand. That he does not understand, that "Any moment death can come and kick me out of all this arrangement." That is ignorance. That is foolishness.
So here, bhojayan payayan mudho na veda agatam antakam. He was eighty-eight years old. So he was busy in maintaining the family, children, everything. But he never thought that "Death will come all of a sudden without waiting for my settle everything." That is the eighth wonder. This question was asked by Dharmaraja to Yudhisthira Maharaja: "What are the wonders, the most wonderful wonders? What is that?" So he said, "This is the most wonderful thing." "What is that?" Ahany ahani gacchanti lokani yama-mandiram. Every moment we see that someone is going to the court of Yamaraja -- that means death. That is our experience, everything. Ahany ahani lokani gacchanti yama-mandiram sesah sthitam icchanti. Sesah, who is not yet dead, he's still alive, he thinks, "I will never die. My dear friend is dying. That's all right. But I'll... Your father is dead. No, still I will be..." Sesah sthitam icchanti kim ascaryam atah param. This is the most wonderful thing that we have experience, that "My father is dead, my father's father is dead, so I shall also be die, my sons will die." Well, who will stay? Well, what is the struggle for existence, survival of the fittest? He never thinks of it. This is the eighth wonder.
Thank you very much.
Devotees: Jaya! (end)
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